Recalled Pet Food Revisited

The list has grown to hundreds of labels
The death toll is rising too
People should cook for their pets
Mine does; don't you?

Of course, my human shops in Chinatown
But I don't often get gravy
It's just boiled or grilled or baked for us
Nothing havey-cavey

This growing global economy
Has allowed more fingers to point
Companies, like people, need to step up
And admit when they've rolled a joint

Your furry friends have entrusted themselves to you
Believing you know what you're doing
You need to take a firmer stand
And do more than just your usual cooing

Just because you call us pets
Doesn't mean you can neglect our care
Watching out for us
Means more than the occasional bath and trimming of hair

Foie Gras-Laced Hot Dogs

Chicago has banned foie gras-laced hot dogs
That's fine; they're just lumps on logs
Those pups think that they're so fine
You'd never catch me claiming one of them as mine
Their meat is mixed with duck liver paste
Harvested from birds that have been bred in haste
I like my fowl free from contamination
In fact, all my food without need of explanation
But I also believe in free feeding for all
So I'm against banning duck livers from the mall
I'm glad I'm not slated to be made into someone's meal
But seriously, folks, let's get real
This nation runs on speed and commerce
And that, folks, is the end of today's verse.

I'se Closed

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
- Jack London

The sun is shining but my eyes are closed
There's nothing left through which I haven't nosed
The Little Ones may gambol as they please
JJ is still susceptible to a friendly tease
But all I need on such a day as this
Is some timely sweet loving and a gentle kiss
Food there is aplenty, of that I can be sure
Water is where I want it without an estate tour
The roaring of planes overhead are easy to ignore
Only the dreaded kitty eater is still not a bore
I don't have to file taxes because I have four paws
No IRS agent can get me with his legal claws
Looming tax deadlines don't worry me
Because as a cat, I'm financially free

Woolly Organ Donors

This article was billed as a discussion of furry organ donors, but evidently it refers to a slightly different direction. Remember Dolly, the first cloned sheep? Well, evidently her species has been providing researchers with opportunities for more genetic experiments. While this may all bode well and good for the future of medicine, I am personally concerned with potential conflicts over the future of my lamb and mutton consumption... Very disturbing... very disturbing...

Good thing the humans have stopped feeding us Iams Lamb mix...

clipped from www.dailymail.co.uk Chimera: sheep have 15 per cent human cells and 85 per cent animal cells The sheep have 15 per cent human cells and 85 per cent animal cells - and their evolution brings the prospect of animal organs being transplanted into humans one step closer. Professor Esmail Zanjani, of the University of Nevada, has spent seven years and £5million perfecting the technique, which involves injecting adult human cells into a sheep's foetus. He has already created a sheep liver which has a large proportion of human cells and eventually hopes to precisely match a sheep to a transplant patient, using their own stem cells to create their own flock of sheep. The process would involve extracting stem cells from the donor's bone marrow and injecting them into the peritoneum of a sheep's foetus. When the lamb is born, two months later, it would have a liver, heart, lungs and brain that are partly human and available for transplant.

Rainy Daze Amaze

Been awhile since we've had a proper rain
With water visibly running across each pane
The kind of day that makes you just want to huddle
Deep in the blankets with your favorite cuddle
No sense sitting out in the kitchen cold
Just to prove that your heart is bold
Better to find your favorite warm place
And claim it before someone tries to steal your space
The Little Gurlz have been restless all morning
Well aware of the overnight meteorological warning
That there's a storm coming, as all the SF movies claim
Right before everyone in sight gets maimed
But that's a different subject than this
As I sit here making a wish
For sunny skies or warm bodies or both
That stimulate positive feelings and healthy growth
It's a good day to ignore what passes these days for news
Items that remind me more of little kittens' mews
With all those reports of the piteous states
Of people and places and nonexistent rebates
Today is better by far I think
For rambling and stopping to sip a refreshing drink

Return of the Kitty Eater

Max was very brave today
Held his ground and did not sway

Nouna held her place as well
Until the monstrous sound did swell

JJ wisely sat outside
A little unnerved but too proud to hide

The Gurlz were flashes of tail in flight
Better today to run than fight

Perhaps that's why later in the day
Each tried to swing at poor JJ

The simple truth is that everyone turns tail
When the vacuum comes, it's time to bail

This and That

Pudee's unhappy
So it's up to me
To make her feel better,
Her worries unfetter

Her arm is sore
Perhaps a muscle she tore
Or maybe there's a pinched nerve
That she doesn't deserve

The doctor sounds nice,
Gave her pharmaceutical advice
A pill for the arm, a wash for the ear,
Come back in a week when everything's clear

Pudee came home through the rain and brought back the sun
Listened to the doctor and promised to run
But Pudee likes to eat
Before stroking my feet

So here we sit, Pudee and I,
Cuddling before the keyboard
All warm and dry.

Tomorrow the sun will shine again
The kitty eater will be out
To vacuum up my den

Tomorrow is soon enough to worry
About life's ongoing strains
Today it's great to be loved and furry.

Pet food maker announces major recall - Yahoo! News

Pet food maker announces major recall - Yahoo! News

Now, this is an article that disturbs me as much as other articles might disturb my human. I'll be the first to admit that I like chunks of meat slathered in gravy, and my human knows that. I guess I should be grateful that JJ's delicate gastronomic difficulties have pretty much put such delicacies out of the majority of cans in our cupboard of late. We've been getting a pretty exclusive diet of canned tuna combinations, the taurine-laced chicken coming primarily in the form of admittedly tasty crunchies (dry food). On rare occasions, (such as my birthday), we get fresh shrimp - yum!

Now I ask you, what's one company doing distributing canned goods under 17, count 'em: seventeen different labels? How's a fella to know whether or not he's being fed safe food? If I wanted to take my chances with my diet, I'd follow my mother back to the feral world...

Ah well...

Smoked Out

Smoke smoke everywhere
How's a cat to breathe?
It smells like fire and danger here
How could danger be so near?

What is Pudee thinking of doing
With all that smoky burning
There's good meat, too, going to waste
Steaming and melting and turning to paste

The day is long and, oh, so hot
Wouldn't it be easier to use a pot?
Why must there be all this smoke
That makes a fella want to choke?

We're all locked in
The Gurlz are driving me crazy
With their dashing about
And their whoopsa daisy

The sun has set
The fire's died down
The meat is in
It's quiet all around

That's pork.
It smells so good
Is that for humans
Or is it nekko food?

You stink,
I think
But that's okay
I love you anyway

Achoooooo!

Gender Voting?

Rumor has it there's a woman running for the presidency
Which is fine, since she's already had experience in residency
But some media midget notes that not all women might vote for her
As though any other choice suggests the opposite of a cur
After all, men have historically voted for men
(Not as though there'd been any other kinds of candidates then)
Of course, they thought all Roman Catholics would vote for Kennedy
And feared some sort of religious remedy
For whatever it was that ailed this country then
Something about an oversized police action in some tropical fen
Now, of course, we're wrestling with a post-war stabilizing action
That has outraged yet another nationwide anti-war faction
But it's good to see that life progresses
And all the ills our military redresses
So that the American Way is preserved
And contestants can be mocked as they deserved
On televised game shows and talent hunts
And annual athletic tournament runts
Can strut their stuff with pride and glee
To the everlasting amusement of viewers like me

In Need of Kneading

Pudee's clearly in need of kneading
And I do the best that I can
But it's hard to do a proper job
When nasty chemicals create a ban
Then there's the bit about never being home
That just adds to the daunting challenge
Of doing the job though banished to the fringe
Those muscles are so tight, you see
And the pressure is clearly mounting
All I can do is keep up the lovings
And let my paws do the counting

Eventful Day

The house phone rang
There was some talk
I heard a bang
And found myself being carted down the walk

The engine was warm
The road was short
Banfield smells
And the people ran true to form

I was hauled out of hiding
And into the light
Though I complained
There was no chance for a fair fight

I didn't ask for the anal probe
Nor the bloodletting needle
Whipped out of that robe

Who needs antibiotics
Or vaccine serums
That are administered by/with such painful pricks?

At least the visit was short and quick
And no one tried to measure my - - - -
The car ride back was leisurely and long
But I didn't have to listen to that stupid song

By the time we got back
I was almost okay
Didn't need to hit the sack
Or climb into any hay

The sun was shining
The garage was cool
I got to prowl
And be my own proud fool

There was still time for lovings aplenty you see
Back at the house with my Pudee

Oh, the Noise

Pudee's back and boy, is it noisy!
Whatever happened to quiet, sunny days?
There's banging and hammering that's driving me crazy
And lumber in the courtyard making a dangerous maze
The Gurlz are so restless as they prowl about the garage
Only JJ is sensibly sleeping in the sun.
Though it's not hot enough to form a mirage,
Things are still too upsetting for any real fun.
I can't get a handle on the changes that have been going on
Like Pudee actually getting up at the crack of dawn.
What's up with that, I'd like to know
Tell me please, so I don't stub my toe.

Doggerel's unseemly for a cool cat like me
So I'm just gonna let this sad blog be...

Pudee's Back

Pudee's back is broad and strong
I can hang there all night long

Pudee's back and I'm a purr box again
The house is noisier than I don't know when

Pudee's back is covered with bites
As though there've been some ugly fights

But Pudee's back so nothing can be wrong
I'm glad, because it's been far too long